Current Week's Word Count: 2,954
The White Lilac's Total: 60,888
Favorite Book of the Month: Catching Fire By: Suzanne Collins
I have been writing for several years now and one area I still feel I struggle with is my self-esteem. I mean, I know that I have grown as a writer. I enjoy laughing at myself and the stories I wrote when I was young. My spelling, grammar and mechanics have improved a hundred-fold. I know my audience and I know I am not boring. Yet when I send off a short story, a manuscript or enter a contest, there is this sinking feeling deep inside me that I am not good enough.
If writing was the kind of venue where an individual could compete against his/herself I would be fine. There is no pressure, just learn from my past mistakes and keep growing. No sweat! But it's not. Not only do I have to compete with other writers who are starting out like me, but I have to compete against well-established writers, NY Times bestsellers and all those literary geniuses who died hundreds of years ago. No matter how good I feel about what I write, I know there are thousands of great, brilliant writers out there who I would love to sit and listen to no matter what they were talking about.
There are times when I hate reading because I know that if I lived for a million years I would never think of writing the story I'm reading and I wish I could. Some books I've read the language is so poetic, even if the story is boring, I have to read every line. Other books have twists and turns I could not anticipate or characters I remember for years. How did the author do that? Did it come naturally or (hopefully!) was it something they learned? All I can do is pick up my pen, open a Word document and keep writing. One day someone may think the same thing about me and I will have to give them the archived web address for this post if they don't believe me.
What area do you struggle with the most in your writing pursuit?